Humor Archive

At long last my dream has come true a new batch of educational games are on the way to cultivate my mind and enlighten me to the international community. For all you gamers who nodded off in geography class while your teacher was talking about tribal rituals in South American Jungles, here’s your chance to catch up on the lesson.

National Geographic has announced that they will begin developing video games.  The non profit educational outlet has announced National Geographic Games which, is part of their profit division National Geographic Ventures. NGG has already released one title “Herod’s Lost Tomb” which was released for mac and Iphone. NGG has stated that some games will be developed in house and others through partnership.  NGG has said that their main focus is to release games that further geographic knowledge.

As excited as you gamers must be to hear this, we have decided to compile a comprehensive list of possible games that NGG could release in the near future. Enjoy.

1. Tribal Drum Hero
Honor your family and the ancestors who have come before you not to mention pick up chicks by tribal drumming. You will play before your family, your tribe, and then compete against other tribes in drum offs. The stakes are high, but so are the rewards; because if you fail at drumming the ancient rhythms of the god’s you lose a finger but if you keep perfect beat you get the neighboring tribal chief’s virgin daughter.

You will also get to play these popular tribal hits:
“Party like a Cherokee” -by the Native American Cherokee
“Big Girls Don’t Cry When They Get Malaria”- by the Jharkhand tribe of Palamu
“I’m Bringing Skinning Back” – By the cannibal Asmat tribes of Papua

2. Woodchuck Breeder for Gameboy DS
Tired of Dogs, Rabbits, and I know your sick of kittens. Well then here is the latest heart warming, I feel fuzzy inside, simulated pet game with all the fun of having a pet and none of the responsibilities. In“Woodchuck breeder” you will help protect the population of these fascinating creators by raising and breeding them. As you progress through the game you will develop new breeding skills such as; selecting the right type of wines, purchasing Barry White albums, and overall setting the right type of mood for breeding.

3. Kill Zone “O” Zone
Help protect the planet from global warming.
Progress through your journey to achieve a planet free of pollution by doing your part.

Here are a few of the exciting missions you will get to play:
-Turning off your lights when you leave a room
-car pooling
-and the funnest mission of them all standing in line at the refinery with a bag of Pepsi cans

4. F.irst E.ncounter A.rachnid R.eaction
A great game for Kids! This game takes you on a journey through the most dangerous spider ridden realms of the world, and teaches kids all the really cool facts about spiders.
Such as:
Goliath Bird Eating spider – of South America that could potentially eat your hand if it wanted to.
The Black Widow – which is native to Southern States of the US such as Florida, be careful on that Disney Land trip!
Brown Recluse – Which is Highly venomous an native to the US and could quite possibly be in your house. Isn’t that a neat fact kids!

5. Education – The Game
Learning is fun! Who needs guns and explosions when you can cultivate your mind.  Education the game will teach you the power of imagination, through comprehensive in depth studies of geographical regions and the indigenous people that live in them, and their effect on our world as a whole. Now that sound like a fun game!